The following formula helps you to step-by-step work on your challenges.

1. Search for silence. Silence allows you to step out of your normal stress response.
2. Use this silence to reconnect with your body through breathing, grounding, and movement (as you have learned in Step 9).
3. Then start a little experiment. This basically consists of doing the opposite of the reassurance behaviour.

Here is a list of frequently encountered challenges (reassurance behaviour) and their experiments:

You do these experiments while presenting your story. One click at a time. These clicks are tiny doses of the opposite of your reassurance behaviour. Stacking these clicks is a relative fast way of learning. The experiment always starts with deliberate breathing and then add the click. For instance, you talk a bit louder. The next experiment starts again with breathing deliberately and talking a bit louder. Then you add the next click: talking less fast. And so on. Be aware that some experiments are less successful than others. Sometimes you have to try another experiment. It is part of the process.

Trainers instruction: Calibrating in the moment

If you do your clicks experiment with another, these guidelines can make this learning even more effective.

1. You discuss the challenges you want to work on and agree upon visual cues (slow down, easy, breathe, keep your head straight).
2. You start presenting. The other gives the cues when they apply (the head straight cue when you tilt your head). You keep on presenting and execute the task.
3. The other signals how well you did it by one (good) or two thumbs up (great!).

This calibration in the moment is a very efficient educational tool. In stead of hearing afterwards what you did do good and what not, you on the go experience the difference and receive feedback. You thus internalize the new behaviour. See it as a way of temporarily externalizing your working memory.